Have you ever had a moment of clarity? A moment in time where everything in your life that seemed so confusing suddenly becomes clear? A moment where the things that bother you most, suddenly dont bother you anymore, and the only thing that has changed is that you have not allowed it to be in the forefront of your mind?
I just had a moment like that.
I am taking my life...by the balls.
2 comments:
I'm sorry I have been away for a while. I was in trial. Federal court. Talk about making a federal case out of nothing. Anyway, just to let to you I really enjoyed your "Who Am I" piece. I once lived in a basement studio in the North East for a year. I had a platform bed with no mattress. Once, finally, I had a girlfriend and I cooked and she came over for dinner for the first time. And since it was a studio she went to sit on the bed, which was made, but was a sheet and comforter and a blanket. I will always remember the look of surprise when she sat down, expecting a mattress but sat on hard wood. Needless to say, after that we spent most weekends in her apartment in Manhattan. Still, she broke my heart.
My piece of advice- tell the man you love your feelings. You only have one chance at this life. Don't go through your life wishing you said something.
The man who loves you will love all of you. Your face...all of you. That's what love is.
It's not the quantity of kisses (or other things for that matter) it's the quality of who you are kissing. You will see.
Well thank goodness. And here I thought perhaps your bike ride on Key Biscayne took you to uncharted territories!
Welcome back. Federal court, wow! Fancy shmancy lawyer. Hope you are paying your taxes.
Ah, is that a "murphy bed" you are speaking of? That is a cute story.
Im sure the look on her face was similar to the face women make when they sneak away to the bathroom late at night, dont turn on the light, and realize their companion forgot to put the toilet seat down. Not expecting the unexpected.
I would say Im sorry she broke your heart, but "Better to have loved and lost, that to have never loved at all." Im sure what you gained in that relationship with that special person does not warrant an apology. Its real, Its a part of you and its alive.
I was in love once. The hardest part about the realization that the relationship wouldn't work, was that I was too self absorbed to worry about what he thought of me when I was just getting to know him. I was young and uninhibited. I was myself in the purest truest form and he really liked me. The irony is it was my self absorbed ways that did not allow our relationship to work. The nostalgia of he knew me "when" is what I miss most. I grew up with him and to this day feel his is the only person that really gets me.
I guess what I am trying to say is as much as you didnt worry about what she would think about you not having a mattress on that bed, and as much as she didnt care, its the nostalgia of that person knowing you "back when" that makes an old relationship so comfortable. I bet she is an amazing and beautiful person.
I appreciate your advice, and I do hope the opportunity presents itself for me to feel safe, let down my guard and be myself with this person. I could not do it under forced circumstances because it would not be genuine, and I would be deceiving him and not giving him what he deserved.
I too, thank you for your comments on quality versus quantity and agree. My indicating in a previous post how long its been since Ive made love or locked lips, is not intended to be a personal inventory of my physical contacts, but rather a celebration that Ive matured to realizing its not fucking worth it if my soul is not a participant. I learned this in a "fit of passion" on a balmy Miami afternoon. I thank that person for this gift often.
I hope you still cook for yourself.
Good to hear from you Rump. I missed you.
Post a Comment