History will tell you that ladies tend to like talking on the phone more than men.
As pre-teens, we obsess over having our own phone in our room preferably and our own line if daddy will foot the extra expense. Outside of wanting to feel like a supercool chick when our friends came over, the privacy of our own phone line was AWESOME. We could talk to our girlfriends and our boy crushes into the wee hours of the morning. Talk included parents, teachers, friends, boys…boys…boys, fashion, makeup, what the heck was going on with our bodies…just to name a few.
As we grow older and mature, those long phone calls turn into the desire to be with someone. The phone calls are exchanged for nights out with our friends, after parties, bom-fires and rolling around town with whomever was lucky enough to have a car.
As I have recently gotten to know a special someone, I have taken pleasure in the warm fuzzy feeling I have with just a simple phone call. I feel again like a gitty high schooler waiting for her boyfriend to call. My voice goes up several octaves and I twirl my hair and tilt my knees inward. I giggle at every silly comment and laugh too hard at his jokes. I accept his every compliment with sincerity and repay compliments with the same sincerity.
For those of you out there who are married, in a long term relationship or perhaps wishing to get closer to a special someone, do not underestimate the power of a simple phone call.
A quick hello during lunch to let them know you are thinking of them. An afternoon call squeezed in between meetings to tell your lover that you can’t wait to see them when you get home. Or perhaps a call on your ride home to say, “I love you and I'll be home soon"!
When you have the time, drop a dime…to the one your with (or want to be)!
Tuesday, June 16
Monday, June 15
Thank You For The Reminder That I Am
There are times in life when you feel like the people that surround you understand you.
There are times in life when you feel like the people that surround you misunderstand you.
There are times in life when you meet a complete stranger and have an instant connection.
There are times in life when you spend years talking with someone but never really get to know them.
There are times in life when you feel as if you finally have things figured out.
There are times in life when you realize you have not even begun to scratch the surface of the complexity of life.
There are times in life when you feel like the end of something is near.
There are times in life when you feel like that day is the first day of the rest of your life.
There are times in life when you are your best.
There are times in life when you are your worst.
There are times in life when you have demonstrated character traits that you want to be remembered for.
There are times in life when you have demonstrated character traits that you hope someone doesn’t remember.
I want to send a special thanks to someone who has recently reminded me that no matter who I am…no matter how rich or poor, how fat or thin, how pretty or ugly, how wrong or right…that what really matters is how I treat people and the impact I have on other’s lives.
There are times in life when you feel like the people that surround you misunderstand you.
There are times in life when you meet a complete stranger and have an instant connection.
There are times in life when you spend years talking with someone but never really get to know them.
There are times in life when you feel as if you finally have things figured out.
There are times in life when you realize you have not even begun to scratch the surface of the complexity of life.
There are times in life when you feel like the end of something is near.
There are times in life when you feel like that day is the first day of the rest of your life.
There are times in life when you are your best.
There are times in life when you are your worst.
There are times in life when you have demonstrated character traits that you want to be remembered for.
There are times in life when you have demonstrated character traits that you hope someone doesn’t remember.
I want to send a special thanks to someone who has recently reminded me that no matter who I am…no matter how rich or poor, how fat or thin, how pretty or ugly, how wrong or right…that what really matters is how I treat people and the impact I have on other’s lives.
Thursday, June 11
A Man Who Vowed To Never Forget
The person who did this was Jack Benny....You have to read this it is absolutely beautiful.....
Each year he sent her roses,
And the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
Than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
With every passing year.'
She knew this was the last time
That the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
In advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
That he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
Way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
Everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
Placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
The portrait of his smiling face..
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
And the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
To live without her mate..
With loneliness and solitude,
That had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
Were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
And then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
To call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
If he would explain,
Why would someone would do this to her, causing her such pain?
'I know your husband passed away,
More than a year ago,'
The owner said,
'I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.'
The flowers you received today,
Were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
He left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
That I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
You'll get them every year
There also is another thing,
That I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you the following year.'
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
As she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he
Had written her a note...
Then, as she stared in total silence,
This is what he wrote..
'Hello my love, I know it's been a year
Since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to
Overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
And the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
So beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
You were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
You fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
But please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
Even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years
When you get these roses,
Think of all the happiness that we had together,
And how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
You have some living still.
Please..try to find happiness,
While living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
But I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
And they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
When the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
In case! You have gone out.
But after his last visit,
He will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
Where I've instructed him
And place the roses where we are,
Together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
Just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
Until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
That there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
That there really is an unlocked door
Just waiting for you to open it.
Each year he sent her roses,
And the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
Than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
With every passing year.'
She knew this was the last time
That the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
In advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
That he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
Way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
Everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
Placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
The portrait of his smiling face..
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
And the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
To live without her mate..
With loneliness and solitude,
That had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
Were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
And then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
To call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
If he would explain,
Why would someone would do this to her, causing her such pain?
'I know your husband passed away,
More than a year ago,'
The owner said,
'I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.'
The flowers you received today,
Were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
He left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
That I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
You'll get them every year
There also is another thing,
That I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you the following year.'
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
As she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he
Had written her a note...
Then, as she stared in total silence,
This is what he wrote..
'Hello my love, I know it's been a year
Since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to
Overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
And the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
So beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
You were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
You fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
But please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
Even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years
When you get these roses,
Think of all the happiness that we had together,
And how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
You have some living still.
Please..try to find happiness,
While living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
But I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
And they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
When the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
In case! You have gone out.
But after his last visit,
He will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
Where I've instructed him
And place the roses where we are,
Together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
Just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
Until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
That there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
That there really is an unlocked door
Just waiting for you to open it.
Wednesday, June 10
Tuna Fish and Milk In A Bowl
Well its official. I am back at the gym and working out regularly. I have finally concluded after 32 years that the ONLY way to sustain the physique that I desire it to combine cardio with resistance training. My employer offers a free gym membership as part of their Wellness program, so I booted the high priced gym I was attending, and swapped it for a gym just a few blocks from my office building. I have committed myself to at least 10 days of resistance training a month. Cardio as often as possible, at least 5 days a week is a given without objection.
My first night at the gym, I was mesmerized by this female, about my age, who is in unbelievable shape. She is lean and cut, but not so much that she looks unfeminine. I tend to desire the lean look, not very sculpted, but this woman was a bit of a source of inspiration. She proved that a woman can be sculpted and still look extremely sexy and not bulky. Her posture was impeccable and she had not an ounce of fat on her body.
I approached her like the dork that I am and commended her on her discipline. It was risky because I was not sure how she would respond, but it was certain she appreciated the comment. We got to talking. Five minutes turned into fifteen minutes as she shared with me her workout routine. The girl rocked it out on the StairMaster like I have never seen. Although I would guess my good friend Snow White could give her a run for her money! But few could…
My big brother is a total doll and is landscaping my backyard. I have a small backyard that backs up to a MetroParks protected wooded lot. A lot of the brush was overgrown and coming into my backyard, taking up the little space that I have. My brother took down the brush (not the trees, I wouldn’t let him!) and filled in the area with topsoil and this weekend we will be planting grass seed and laying hay. He’s also started on a few other projects in the house. This weekend I think I’ll talk to him about the possibility of adding shelving and a shoe rack to my closet. He often cleans my garage, takes out the garbage, and picks things up that he sees the house needs. I just love having him around…aside, of course, from the occasional bitchfest about how I live. Point in case, the way I feed my cat.
My cat Emily is larger than a small dog. It is no mystery that I feed my cat that way I wish I could eat. Endless treats, a full food bowl and splashes of milk anytime she lets out a cry are the norm. When I adopted Emily she was so little and so underweight (she was a stray cat living on the streets) that the way I showed her she could trust me was to feed her, endlessly. The end product is an obese cat, who is insanely happy and saunters with her fat ass all about the house, not taking any disliking to my brothers attempts to taunt her to keep her away from his living space.
My brother is creeped out by Emily. Ok, so maybe it is totally nasty that when I eat baked or grilled chicken I will cut little pieces for her and feed them to her at the table. And maybe it is totally and unbelievably disgusting that I will share my chocolate pudding with her, and my soft yogurt too! But, why is it more disgusting when it’s a cat? I mean, its really no different than if she were a dog (obvious sarcasm here).
Anyways, as my brother is settling into my home, I have noticed my once formal approach to living is becoming more of the “ordinary sort”. I guess that is my way of saying, I lived and lounged a certain way before my brother moved in, changed things as he first arrived to make him feel comfortable (as did he I am sure) and now am going back to my normal and typical habits (as is he such as leaving his dirty laundry ontop of the washing machine – an obvious but unspoken request to wash it!).
One of these bad habits of mine is to feed Emily tuna fish and splash the bowl with milk. It’s a disgusting combination but one which she likes. When I would do this in the past, I would rid of the evidence quickly after Emily ate knowing full well my brother would just stare in awe as the disgust of this practice. Not to mention it smells horrific! So this morning, in a rush to get out of the house (I spent extra time making my hair curly) I fed Emily and scooted out of the house forgetting to rinse the tuna fish and milk bowl.
The three o’clock hour comes upon. My office phone rings. The caller ID shows the familiar cell phone number of my brother. The conversation begins:
I say, “Yo, yo, yo wassup?”
My brother responds, “Are you shitting me?!!!!!!! Tuna fish and milk in the same bowl Angela!!!!!! I almost puked when I woke up and passed it and smelled it this morning.”
My response, “Did you get your clean laundry?”
It’s a lucky thing for him he takes out the trash. Maybe next week as a practical joke Ill put a small pile of Emily’s shit just atop the garbage can to mess with him.
Nothing better than humor to deal with a sometimes stressful situation!
My first night at the gym, I was mesmerized by this female, about my age, who is in unbelievable shape. She is lean and cut, but not so much that she looks unfeminine. I tend to desire the lean look, not very sculpted, but this woman was a bit of a source of inspiration. She proved that a woman can be sculpted and still look extremely sexy and not bulky. Her posture was impeccable and she had not an ounce of fat on her body.
I approached her like the dork that I am and commended her on her discipline. It was risky because I was not sure how she would respond, but it was certain she appreciated the comment. We got to talking. Five minutes turned into fifteen minutes as she shared with me her workout routine. The girl rocked it out on the StairMaster like I have never seen. Although I would guess my good friend Snow White could give her a run for her money! But few could…
My big brother is a total doll and is landscaping my backyard. I have a small backyard that backs up to a MetroParks protected wooded lot. A lot of the brush was overgrown and coming into my backyard, taking up the little space that I have. My brother took down the brush (not the trees, I wouldn’t let him!) and filled in the area with topsoil and this weekend we will be planting grass seed and laying hay. He’s also started on a few other projects in the house. This weekend I think I’ll talk to him about the possibility of adding shelving and a shoe rack to my closet. He often cleans my garage, takes out the garbage, and picks things up that he sees the house needs. I just love having him around…aside, of course, from the occasional bitchfest about how I live. Point in case, the way I feed my cat.
My cat Emily is larger than a small dog. It is no mystery that I feed my cat that way I wish I could eat. Endless treats, a full food bowl and splashes of milk anytime she lets out a cry are the norm. When I adopted Emily she was so little and so underweight (she was a stray cat living on the streets) that the way I showed her she could trust me was to feed her, endlessly. The end product is an obese cat, who is insanely happy and saunters with her fat ass all about the house, not taking any disliking to my brothers attempts to taunt her to keep her away from his living space.
My brother is creeped out by Emily. Ok, so maybe it is totally nasty that when I eat baked or grilled chicken I will cut little pieces for her and feed them to her at the table. And maybe it is totally and unbelievably disgusting that I will share my chocolate pudding with her, and my soft yogurt too! But, why is it more disgusting when it’s a cat? I mean, its really no different than if she were a dog (obvious sarcasm here).
Anyways, as my brother is settling into my home, I have noticed my once formal approach to living is becoming more of the “ordinary sort”. I guess that is my way of saying, I lived and lounged a certain way before my brother moved in, changed things as he first arrived to make him feel comfortable (as did he I am sure) and now am going back to my normal and typical habits (as is he such as leaving his dirty laundry ontop of the washing machine – an obvious but unspoken request to wash it!).
One of these bad habits of mine is to feed Emily tuna fish and splash the bowl with milk. It’s a disgusting combination but one which she likes. When I would do this in the past, I would rid of the evidence quickly after Emily ate knowing full well my brother would just stare in awe as the disgust of this practice. Not to mention it smells horrific! So this morning, in a rush to get out of the house (I spent extra time making my hair curly) I fed Emily and scooted out of the house forgetting to rinse the tuna fish and milk bowl.
The three o’clock hour comes upon. My office phone rings. The caller ID shows the familiar cell phone number of my brother. The conversation begins:
I say, “Yo, yo, yo wassup?”
My brother responds, “Are you shitting me?!!!!!!! Tuna fish and milk in the same bowl Angela!!!!!! I almost puked when I woke up and passed it and smelled it this morning.”
My response, “Did you get your clean laundry?”
It’s a lucky thing for him he takes out the trash. Maybe next week as a practical joke Ill put a small pile of Emily’s shit just atop the garbage can to mess with him.
Nothing better than humor to deal with a sometimes stressful situation!
Monday, June 8
A Birthday Weekend of Filled Wishes
Sunday was my birthday. Thirty two years old and I have never felt better about myself. The weekend was absolutely fabulous. It was relaxing, not too hectic and full of love and fun festivities.
Rather than hit any local restaurants or bars, I decided to stay close to home and celebrate my individuality and life accomplishments. A sort of self reflective weekend looking back upon my past and relishing in the best and worst of times.
I splurged and overspent on Saturday and it felt good! It bewilders me the sense of satisfaction I get when I use my hard earned money to purchase finer things that I enjoy.
I bought pillows for my bedroom, including two Euro shams and two down feather pillows, and I also bought these amazing Marc Jacobs Euro pillow shams in the most unique iridescent green/brown color with gorgeous piping.
I have been wanting to buy a cotton metalasse for several years now but was having a hard time finding a color and stitching that was more modern. Most of the metalasse are a traditional off white with a flower pattern. This weekend I found a stark white one with box stitching that had the traditional metalasse cotton feel but a modern look. This fit nicely between my flat sheet and my down comforter giving the covers a weight that snuggles the body.
I also purchased two pairs of shoes. For some reason I was drawn to the wedge heels this weekend. I have never purchased a pair of wedge heels because I have never been too excited about the look…but they offer extra stability and height and are hardly seen when I wear them with my long dress pants. They are typically a rounder toe instead of a pointed toe which is nice when walking across campus for work. I decided my pointed toe shoes could be worn with my jeans when I go out, rather than work, and I could use the wedge heels, incognito, under my dress pants at work and provide extra support and comfort when walking during the day. Then I would still not lose the professional look of added height.
Then I went product crazy and bought an extraordinary amount of hand lotions, body lotions, body washes, bubble baths, oils, and scented candles.
My parents were generous in purchasing me an bedside table for my bedroom. Since my bed sits in a large bedframe I needed a large piece, the size of a coffee tables (at least 36’ wide which is hard to find in an end table) but also square so it did not look like I was using a coffee table for an end table. I found it at a furniture store after looking for months, so of course, after it was set up next to my bed, I had to dress it up with a crystal piece, lotions, candles, a small light and a small clock that goes “tick tock” at night and helps me sleep. The piece of furniture sits just below a framed christening gown that is perfectly pressed and centered onto a piece of pink felt fabric. The frame is gold and had mini shooting stars going across it. It was my grandmother Audrey’s christening gown and someday I hope to be able to take apart that frame and dress my child in the gown on his or her baptism day.
On Sunday, after a glorious early morning walk in the park, and a trip to the grocery store, I headed over to my parents house to meet my family and niece and nephew for a small birthday party cookout. We feasted on bbq ribs, chicken, potato salad, green beans, fresh fruit salad and pasta salad. It all paired nicely with a sweet raspberry Riesling my aunt had wanted to try. We laughed about how we shouldn’t have waited so long to try the new wine. Then onto birthday cake and a few gifts. We as a family have agreed that gifts would be of the personal affect and we would not go overboard.
My dad’s mother, who passed when I was a pre-teen due to ovarian cancer was a very special lady. She was the mother of two boys and was a woman who could “do it all” well before the times when a woman had many options. She was an accountant, a mother, a caretaker, a wife, a volunteer and active community and church member and more.
She had a gentleness and lady likeness about her that emulated. She was loved by many and liked by all. Her name was Audrey. My large forehead, wide nose, and light hair and skin coloring are just as hers. If you place a picture of her as a young girl next to a picture of me as a young girl, we look identical. It is seldom I can go to a family party and not be told how much I am like Audrey. Even to the detail of how I decorate. Low profile, large pieces, earth tones and lots of contrast. She too had a love for the finer things. Her guest bathroom was always decorated with shell soaps and beautiful hand stitched hand towels and her house had the familiar scent of home when you were welcomed at the door.
When my grandmother passed at a young age, the family was devastated. My rough and tough grandfather was offset by my grandmother’s gentleness. She reminded him often not to be too “gruff”. My father’s heart was broken. It was the first and last time I saw my father cry. My father who is the pillar of strength in my life. My grandfather almost immediately after my grandmother’s death took house with another lady, 20 years his younger. It is obvious now he was fearful to be alone, but that act hurt the family so and caused a lot of turmoil and anger.
Many years have passed. My grandfather ended up marrying that lady, divorcing her, and then re-marrying her again and to this day they are wed. His second wife was recently ill and was treated at the hospital that I work. She had a serious neurological issue and I spent several hours of each morning of the 10 days she was here, up in her room, at her bedside, trying to console her and provide my grandfather some relief as he waited for his ride to be by her bedside. My grandfather is 86 years old and I could see from the pain on his face that watching a second spouse pass would be difficult for him.
It has been about 6 weeks since his wife went home, and the prognosis for her is good, but I can see my grandfather’s health failing. It is as if that experience allowed him to give himself permission to let go to the after life, where he could meet and be with Audrey and avoid the pain of losing another wife. This observation along with his most recent chatter about Audrey including; requesting the meals and recipes she prepared for him be prepared, sharing with me the tiny little shovel Audrey used while gardening and talking about Audrey more…has led me to this conclusion. Its as if he is preparing to pass by re-experiencing Audrey as he prepares to meet her again.
As a birthday gift, my grandfather and his wife gave to me my grandmother Audrey’s cook book. It was a cook book her mother in law gave to her in 1942. It is called the “Women’s Home Companion Cook Book” and has several hand written notes placed in particular pages to note where she would adjust a recipe to her liking. Celery salt instead of celery. Add garlic powder. Make it a heaping teaspoon. The inside page of the front cover of the book has a handwritten note from her mother in law. Certain pages are splattered with the likings of sauces and oils, making it obvious her favorite recipes. The gift came with a note from my grandfather and his wife…acknowledging my life successes, my willingness to open up my home to my brother, my time commitment to his wife while she was in the hospital and more. I was so completely and totally overwhelmed I broke into tears.
There are few gifts you receive it life that touch your soul. This was one of those gifts. I brought the book home and immediately found the perfect place in the kitchen for it and have already begun to page through and take mental inventory of the things Ill need to gather at the grocery store to prepare her favorite meals. My plan is to prepare those meals and take them to my grandfather and his wife so that they together can celebrate their love and the future.
As a final note, it was at that moment that I browsed through the recipe book that I realized that the ribs that we ate that evening were prepared by using my grandmother’s recipe and homemade bbq sauce.
I love you Audrey. I love you Bob. I love you Jeanite. Thank you for making my thirty second birthday one I will never ever forgot.
Much love and blessings,
Angela
Rather than hit any local restaurants or bars, I decided to stay close to home and celebrate my individuality and life accomplishments. A sort of self reflective weekend looking back upon my past and relishing in the best and worst of times.
I splurged and overspent on Saturday and it felt good! It bewilders me the sense of satisfaction I get when I use my hard earned money to purchase finer things that I enjoy.
I bought pillows for my bedroom, including two Euro shams and two down feather pillows, and I also bought these amazing Marc Jacobs Euro pillow shams in the most unique iridescent green/brown color with gorgeous piping.
I have been wanting to buy a cotton metalasse for several years now but was having a hard time finding a color and stitching that was more modern. Most of the metalasse are a traditional off white with a flower pattern. This weekend I found a stark white one with box stitching that had the traditional metalasse cotton feel but a modern look. This fit nicely between my flat sheet and my down comforter giving the covers a weight that snuggles the body.
I also purchased two pairs of shoes. For some reason I was drawn to the wedge heels this weekend. I have never purchased a pair of wedge heels because I have never been too excited about the look…but they offer extra stability and height and are hardly seen when I wear them with my long dress pants. They are typically a rounder toe instead of a pointed toe which is nice when walking across campus for work. I decided my pointed toe shoes could be worn with my jeans when I go out, rather than work, and I could use the wedge heels, incognito, under my dress pants at work and provide extra support and comfort when walking during the day. Then I would still not lose the professional look of added height.
Then I went product crazy and bought an extraordinary amount of hand lotions, body lotions, body washes, bubble baths, oils, and scented candles.
My parents were generous in purchasing me an bedside table for my bedroom. Since my bed sits in a large bedframe I needed a large piece, the size of a coffee tables (at least 36’ wide which is hard to find in an end table) but also square so it did not look like I was using a coffee table for an end table. I found it at a furniture store after looking for months, so of course, after it was set up next to my bed, I had to dress it up with a crystal piece, lotions, candles, a small light and a small clock that goes “tick tock” at night and helps me sleep. The piece of furniture sits just below a framed christening gown that is perfectly pressed and centered onto a piece of pink felt fabric. The frame is gold and had mini shooting stars going across it. It was my grandmother Audrey’s christening gown and someday I hope to be able to take apart that frame and dress my child in the gown on his or her baptism day.
On Sunday, after a glorious early morning walk in the park, and a trip to the grocery store, I headed over to my parents house to meet my family and niece and nephew for a small birthday party cookout. We feasted on bbq ribs, chicken, potato salad, green beans, fresh fruit salad and pasta salad. It all paired nicely with a sweet raspberry Riesling my aunt had wanted to try. We laughed about how we shouldn’t have waited so long to try the new wine. Then onto birthday cake and a few gifts. We as a family have agreed that gifts would be of the personal affect and we would not go overboard.
My dad’s mother, who passed when I was a pre-teen due to ovarian cancer was a very special lady. She was the mother of two boys and was a woman who could “do it all” well before the times when a woman had many options. She was an accountant, a mother, a caretaker, a wife, a volunteer and active community and church member and more.
She had a gentleness and lady likeness about her that emulated. She was loved by many and liked by all. Her name was Audrey. My large forehead, wide nose, and light hair and skin coloring are just as hers. If you place a picture of her as a young girl next to a picture of me as a young girl, we look identical. It is seldom I can go to a family party and not be told how much I am like Audrey. Even to the detail of how I decorate. Low profile, large pieces, earth tones and lots of contrast. She too had a love for the finer things. Her guest bathroom was always decorated with shell soaps and beautiful hand stitched hand towels and her house had the familiar scent of home when you were welcomed at the door.
When my grandmother passed at a young age, the family was devastated. My rough and tough grandfather was offset by my grandmother’s gentleness. She reminded him often not to be too “gruff”. My father’s heart was broken. It was the first and last time I saw my father cry. My father who is the pillar of strength in my life. My grandfather almost immediately after my grandmother’s death took house with another lady, 20 years his younger. It is obvious now he was fearful to be alone, but that act hurt the family so and caused a lot of turmoil and anger.
Many years have passed. My grandfather ended up marrying that lady, divorcing her, and then re-marrying her again and to this day they are wed. His second wife was recently ill and was treated at the hospital that I work. She had a serious neurological issue and I spent several hours of each morning of the 10 days she was here, up in her room, at her bedside, trying to console her and provide my grandfather some relief as he waited for his ride to be by her bedside. My grandfather is 86 years old and I could see from the pain on his face that watching a second spouse pass would be difficult for him.
It has been about 6 weeks since his wife went home, and the prognosis for her is good, but I can see my grandfather’s health failing. It is as if that experience allowed him to give himself permission to let go to the after life, where he could meet and be with Audrey and avoid the pain of losing another wife. This observation along with his most recent chatter about Audrey including; requesting the meals and recipes she prepared for him be prepared, sharing with me the tiny little shovel Audrey used while gardening and talking about Audrey more…has led me to this conclusion. Its as if he is preparing to pass by re-experiencing Audrey as he prepares to meet her again.
As a birthday gift, my grandfather and his wife gave to me my grandmother Audrey’s cook book. It was a cook book her mother in law gave to her in 1942. It is called the “Women’s Home Companion Cook Book” and has several hand written notes placed in particular pages to note where she would adjust a recipe to her liking. Celery salt instead of celery. Add garlic powder. Make it a heaping teaspoon. The inside page of the front cover of the book has a handwritten note from her mother in law. Certain pages are splattered with the likings of sauces and oils, making it obvious her favorite recipes. The gift came with a note from my grandfather and his wife…acknowledging my life successes, my willingness to open up my home to my brother, my time commitment to his wife while she was in the hospital and more. I was so completely and totally overwhelmed I broke into tears.
There are few gifts you receive it life that touch your soul. This was one of those gifts. I brought the book home and immediately found the perfect place in the kitchen for it and have already begun to page through and take mental inventory of the things Ill need to gather at the grocery store to prepare her favorite meals. My plan is to prepare those meals and take them to my grandfather and his wife so that they together can celebrate their love and the future.
As a final note, it was at that moment that I browsed through the recipe book that I realized that the ribs that we ate that evening were prepared by using my grandmother’s recipe and homemade bbq sauce.
I love you Audrey. I love you Bob. I love you Jeanite. Thank you for making my thirty second birthday one I will never ever forgot.
Much love and blessings,
Angela
Friday, June 5
A Weekend For Relaxation
Well what began as, I don't know if he wants to see me again, has turned into a flurry of plans as we both admitted to each other that we were really looking forward to seeing each other again. I have a bit of a smile on today and I have a sneaking suspicion it will be hard to take off.
It started off as him asking me to attend an event with him in late June. He told me about the event and not only did it sound like a lot of fun, but it gives us the opportunity to spend some time together...what better way to get to know someone? I was flattered that he asked and told him,
"I would absolutely love to go. It sounds like it will be fun and I would like to see you again."
His response was adorable, "I was hoping you would come."
To then I which replied, "Are you going to make me wait until June 20th to see you again?" I couldn't believe I said it, but...I thought Id take a leap of faith anyhow.
His response, "What are your plans this weekend?"
I smiled and giggled and could feel my shoulders shrug as a little girl in excitement. There is something about his voice that I like. Its a bit boyish, but strong. And when he is not sure of something...or maybe feels a bit out of his comfort zone, the tone changes to anticipation...maybe even hope. Its as if he is making a statement while asking for affirmation at the same time.
I told him, "I do not know if you remember me telling you this when you called me from Vegas (let's just say he was a little intoxicated), but I really like the sound of your voice."
He said, "I do remember you telling me that. Thank you." in his softer voice.
To which then he payed me a compliment, but one that I will keep to myself out of protection from a friend of his who reads my blog (YUPIE!). I know you will try to embarrass the living hell out of him! I've got a practical joke to play on him of another means.
The compliment was sweet...really, really sweet.
The rest of the conversation included us exchanging schedules for the next 2-3 weeks and working to figure out how we might be able to squeeze in time with each other. It will be tough, especially this weekend, but I think its safe to say we are both looking forward to it.
Friday is here my fellow bloggers, and it has been a long but great week indeed! My weekend plans include lots of time outside (hiking / jogging / in line skating) and a birthday celebration with my family and a few friends.
Have a fantastic weekend and enjoy the time with those whom you spend it with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big hug,
Audrey
It started off as him asking me to attend an event with him in late June. He told me about the event and not only did it sound like a lot of fun, but it gives us the opportunity to spend some time together...what better way to get to know someone? I was flattered that he asked and told him,
"I would absolutely love to go. It sounds like it will be fun and I would like to see you again."
His response was adorable, "I was hoping you would come."
To then I which replied, "Are you going to make me wait until June 20th to see you again?" I couldn't believe I said it, but...I thought Id take a leap of faith anyhow.
His response, "What are your plans this weekend?"
I smiled and giggled and could feel my shoulders shrug as a little girl in excitement. There is something about his voice that I like. Its a bit boyish, but strong. And when he is not sure of something...or maybe feels a bit out of his comfort zone, the tone changes to anticipation...maybe even hope. Its as if he is making a statement while asking for affirmation at the same time.
I told him, "I do not know if you remember me telling you this when you called me from Vegas (let's just say he was a little intoxicated), but I really like the sound of your voice."
He said, "I do remember you telling me that. Thank you." in his softer voice.
To which then he payed me a compliment, but one that I will keep to myself out of protection from a friend of his who reads my blog (YUPIE!). I know you will try to embarrass the living hell out of him! I've got a practical joke to play on him of another means.
The compliment was sweet...really, really sweet.
The rest of the conversation included us exchanging schedules for the next 2-3 weeks and working to figure out how we might be able to squeeze in time with each other. It will be tough, especially this weekend, but I think its safe to say we are both looking forward to it.
Friday is here my fellow bloggers, and it has been a long but great week indeed! My weekend plans include lots of time outside (hiking / jogging / in line skating) and a birthday celebration with my family and a few friends.
Have a fantastic weekend and enjoy the time with those whom you spend it with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big hug,
Audrey
Thursday, June 4
I Do, In Fact, Like Sloppy Joe
Hello my fellow bloggers.
So as you may recall, my last post included a story about a gentleman I met out while out with some friends a few weekends ago. We had a smashing time during a fun night out in Cleveland, and we cuddled into the wee hours of the morning.
When we woke up the morning after, I felt a bit uncomfortable because I did not know if he was truly interested, or if perhaps the cuddling was the result of several Red Bull and Vodkas on his part and Vodka cranberries on my part.
When I woke up, the first thing I thought was how bad I must have looked. My makeup from the night before still on, my hair I was almost certain was overly poofy, not a good look unless you’re an 80’s chick and of course I had no toothbrush to speak up…not even gum.
Luckily, I retreated quickly to the hotel bathroom before he woke and washed my face with a cold washcloth, I dared not use the hand soap on my sensitive facial skin, rinsed my mouth…no mouthwash…RATS!...and washed my hands. I used my clip from the night before to pull back my hair in somewhat of a reasonable fashion and grabbed my shades to use them as a headband to rid of some of the poofiness in my hair.
Because there was a group of us, and we just crashed on the beds, he and I weren’t alone.
Everyone slowly started to wake as I came out of the bathroom. Moaning and groaning from headaches, the guys thinking it was funny to pass gas loudly in the room. I felt like I was back in college.
The gentlemen I met sat up in the bed, and saw me walking from the bathroom and said,
“Good Morning,” and gave me a wide smile.
“Good Morning” I said in return. A bit bashful because of my sleepover appearance.
When he sat up in the bed, he was not wearing a shirt. I remembered feeling his skin against me, but it was so late when we all piled into that room that I never had a chance to see his bare chest. Lean, muscular and just enough hair…and dark. I like the contrast of light skin and dark hair. His eyes are a deep brown and his nose is a bit larger. I like his eyes because the color is so deep, but they sparkle. Perhaps it’s the shape of his eyes that catches the light so. He is very handsome.
I went and sat on the edge of the bed and asked my brother if he would go get me a coffee and pick me up, knowing full well we had a 20 minute walk outside to where the car was parked. Not to forget to mention that my head was pounding and the thought of stepping out into the early morning bright sun, in my sleepover glory walking through downtown was not appealing in any way shape or form. My bro wouldn’t go for it.
“Hell no! We are walking together and we will get a coffee on the ride home“ he responded
The gentlemen I took a liking to, who also happens to be a friend of my brothers chuckles. I took at him and give him a half smile and raise my eyebrow, almost as if to say, “I hope you aren’t laughing at that.” He smiled at the funny face I made at him.
As I sat on the edge of the bed, I could feel his hand on the small of my back. As if he was gesturing everything was okay. It was as if he sensed I was nervous, perhaps afraid my brother might be able to see right through me to the fact that I was interested in one of his friends.
Goodbyes between friends were exchanged quickly. The last memory I have of him is sitting up in the bed, his one knee bent and his elbow resting on his knee. Very casual, very comfortable…very sexy.
I went about my day and thought about him, and the night before and the morning several times. The conversations and words exchanged that evening and into the wee hours of the morning kept running through my head. The rumor was that he had a girlfriend but it was on the rocks. This made things a little bit more complicated. I took a leap of faith and called him the following Sunday.
We have had several phone conversations since that evening. The conversations are getting to know each other and he makes me laugh…a lot…which I really like. He doesn’t take things too seriously and likes to have fun. It’s the kind of summer crush I am looking for.
His schedule has been hectic. LA, Vegas, Houston, drill weekend. There has not been one opportunity for us to get together since that chance meeting. Next week would be the first opportunity. I don’t know if he will ask if I want to get together, or if perhaps it will be another outing with friends that creates the opportunity for me to see him again, but one thing is for sure. I do want to see him again. If not for any other reason than to laugh my ass off, tell him how sexy I think his chest is, and toast vodka drinks.
Oh, and I will definitely make sure the next time we go out that I have plenty of time to get ready, unlike that evening where I rushed after a last minute decision to go out. I want him to think I am unbelievably gorgeous and sexy when he lays his eyes on me again, maybe even a bit irresistible.
So as you may recall, my last post included a story about a gentleman I met out while out with some friends a few weekends ago. We had a smashing time during a fun night out in Cleveland, and we cuddled into the wee hours of the morning.
When we woke up the morning after, I felt a bit uncomfortable because I did not know if he was truly interested, or if perhaps the cuddling was the result of several Red Bull and Vodkas on his part and Vodka cranberries on my part.
When I woke up, the first thing I thought was how bad I must have looked. My makeup from the night before still on, my hair I was almost certain was overly poofy, not a good look unless you’re an 80’s chick and of course I had no toothbrush to speak up…not even gum.
Luckily, I retreated quickly to the hotel bathroom before he woke and washed my face with a cold washcloth, I dared not use the hand soap on my sensitive facial skin, rinsed my mouth…no mouthwash…RATS!...and washed my hands. I used my clip from the night before to pull back my hair in somewhat of a reasonable fashion and grabbed my shades to use them as a headband to rid of some of the poofiness in my hair.
Because there was a group of us, and we just crashed on the beds, he and I weren’t alone.
Everyone slowly started to wake as I came out of the bathroom. Moaning and groaning from headaches, the guys thinking it was funny to pass gas loudly in the room. I felt like I was back in college.
The gentlemen I met sat up in the bed, and saw me walking from the bathroom and said,
“Good Morning,” and gave me a wide smile.
“Good Morning” I said in return. A bit bashful because of my sleepover appearance.
When he sat up in the bed, he was not wearing a shirt. I remembered feeling his skin against me, but it was so late when we all piled into that room that I never had a chance to see his bare chest. Lean, muscular and just enough hair…and dark. I like the contrast of light skin and dark hair. His eyes are a deep brown and his nose is a bit larger. I like his eyes because the color is so deep, but they sparkle. Perhaps it’s the shape of his eyes that catches the light so. He is very handsome.
I went and sat on the edge of the bed and asked my brother if he would go get me a coffee and pick me up, knowing full well we had a 20 minute walk outside to where the car was parked. Not to forget to mention that my head was pounding and the thought of stepping out into the early morning bright sun, in my sleepover glory walking through downtown was not appealing in any way shape or form. My bro wouldn’t go for it.
“Hell no! We are walking together and we will get a coffee on the ride home“ he responded
The gentlemen I took a liking to, who also happens to be a friend of my brothers chuckles. I took at him and give him a half smile and raise my eyebrow, almost as if to say, “I hope you aren’t laughing at that.” He smiled at the funny face I made at him.
As I sat on the edge of the bed, I could feel his hand on the small of my back. As if he was gesturing everything was okay. It was as if he sensed I was nervous, perhaps afraid my brother might be able to see right through me to the fact that I was interested in one of his friends.
Goodbyes between friends were exchanged quickly. The last memory I have of him is sitting up in the bed, his one knee bent and his elbow resting on his knee. Very casual, very comfortable…very sexy.
I went about my day and thought about him, and the night before and the morning several times. The conversations and words exchanged that evening and into the wee hours of the morning kept running through my head. The rumor was that he had a girlfriend but it was on the rocks. This made things a little bit more complicated. I took a leap of faith and called him the following Sunday.
We have had several phone conversations since that evening. The conversations are getting to know each other and he makes me laugh…a lot…which I really like. He doesn’t take things too seriously and likes to have fun. It’s the kind of summer crush I am looking for.
His schedule has been hectic. LA, Vegas, Houston, drill weekend. There has not been one opportunity for us to get together since that chance meeting. Next week would be the first opportunity. I don’t know if he will ask if I want to get together, or if perhaps it will be another outing with friends that creates the opportunity for me to see him again, but one thing is for sure. I do want to see him again. If not for any other reason than to laugh my ass off, tell him how sexy I think his chest is, and toast vodka drinks.
Oh, and I will definitely make sure the next time we go out that I have plenty of time to get ready, unlike that evening where I rushed after a last minute decision to go out. I want him to think I am unbelievably gorgeous and sexy when he lays his eyes on me again, maybe even a bit irresistible.
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