Someone near and dear to my heart is going through a personal struggle these days. The kind of personal struggle when you realize the person whom you fell in love with once, is no longer the person you love.
Being a part of this individuals journey has caused me to reconnect with the idea of a relationship...something I have not played a part in for years. This is my choice and my journey, but this persons circumstance has required me to revisit a similar time in my life.
If you ask one the defintion of love, chances are you will get a variety of responses. Its a relative question. To some its as simple as someone who can provide. To another, it may be someone who always puts them first. To another, it may be someone who makes them feel complete. But what I find to be the most interesting part of feeling love, is that it is forever evolving and changing. I see the challenge of a relationship not to be the love. This emotion will only exist if you sustain the connection. The challenge in a relationship is to stay emotionally, spiritually, physically and intellectually connected often enough and deep enough to recognize each others shifts / changes / interests...this simple act, although very challenging when you can easily fall victim to the day to day humdrum of life, I believe to be the most important piece in sustaining love. You must recognize that people constantly grow and change, and staying connected through that journey allows you to grow and change together and sustain the love.
Love to me is an appreciation for another, not for just who they are, but who they have been and who they will become. Some of this may be good and some of this may be bad, but in the end, youve taken on a piece of someone and given up a piece of yourself.
This person is my life will find their way no doubt, because they are chasing their dream, keeping priorities in check but not allowing what they know to be their personal growth be stifled by the idea that..."This is just the way life is."
As Ive hunkered into my deep personal self these past few years, to protect myself from potentially being hurt I feel refreshed and revived by visiting my past through my friends journey.
Tonight as I lay my head on my pillow, and turn on Tom Petty, and ask him to remind me to be free, I make myself a vow... Like a wake drifting past a boat at sea, I will leave the past behind.
To A New Year, A New Beginning, A New Sense of Self...I am free.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGmEPj7ofJY
Monday, December 29
Saturday, December 27
Tampa, West Palm or Fort Lauderdale
This morning I wake up in Cleveland hoping that the way I was feeling last night would improve and not get worse.
Mother Nature has bestowed upon this great city of Cleveland some interesting weather the past few weeks. We started with temps in the 20's -30's, dipped to 5 - 10, then fell below zero as winds from the north dropped the temp with wind chills into the negative teens, then back up to 50 and here this morning we settled into
30's. Lovely.
Outside of the minor annoyance that getting dressed in the morning requires the routine of watching the morning weather report, there too is the annoyance of the ailments that come along with quickly changing temps. When I parked in a garage at work that was adjacent to my building, I did not require myself to watch the weather. I could wear whatever and quickly rush into the building with a light sweater and not feel the winter effects. Now that my office has moved and the parking garage is several blocks away and a 15 minute walk through downtown, I must be more meticulous in my morning routine. Do I wear my feather down water resistant coat, or a long wool one? Do I need dorn the cap and gloves, or can I sneak by with just a scarf?
I felt the cold begin to settle into my chest on Wednesday. "Good thing I got that flu shot" I thought to myself. I quickly incorporated a zinc mineral supplement to try to chase it away. I should have been mindful enough to also steer clear of the germ cesspool at my gym, but I just love the way my body feels after 45 minutes on the stair master. Vitamin C and fever reducer completed my morning cold cocktail. Then one at noon and one just before bed. The little bugger came on strong yesterday afternoon at work, and today, its full blown. I lounge here in my bed, equipped with my laptop, my house phone, my warm cuddly cat, sore throat lozenges, liquids, and the makings of my cold cocktail standing at attention on my nightstand ready for duty, and contemplate my scheduled 4am flight tomorrow to visit my favorite destination, Marco Island.
All the books in my office have been read. Santa didnt bring my any new ones this year. So today I will scour the Internet for interesting material that can captivate the audience of one.
For this...this very scenario...challenges me to be mindful of my choice to return home to Cleveland after living in weather bliss is Miami. I can expect my mother to come over this morning. She will care for me like when I was a child. She will make a fuss by looking at each bottle and assessing my standards for personal care of this cold. She will critique as if Ive got it all wrong, but add only a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup. She will act as if she realiged my entire routine, and I will allow her to know that the only thing that will have made me feel better today was her taking care of me. This is an experience that is hard to surrender. This simple act of kindness and love reminds me of why Im here. My niece too will be over later today, checking in on her Auntie. Her four year old proper insisting she will feed my kitty for me, and then ask where I have hidden the cookie jar. My goodness her sweet tooth! My nephew, his two year old proper will adorn me by blowing me a kiss, a good and snotty kiss, most likely the origination of my cold. My older brother will force me to get out of bed to "fight if off". I can always count on him to challenge me. My younger brother will phone from Chicago, most likely thinking Im near my death as that is how my mother will portray it..."man that sucks" is what he will say. And my response will be, "not as bad and working in that f'ing lab 15 hours a day...but oh right, youll have a PHD. Did I tell you how amazing that is." He'll laugh with embarrassement and pride. Ill think to myself, he got the brains and the looks! His heart is so kind.
Today will be a good day. I will be reminded of this amazing family I have in my life, and tomorrow jet set, cold and all to South Florida and revisit Audrey's passions. The best things in my life experiences within two days.
There is a third experience that Id like to supplement, but time will have to tell the fate of that desire. It requires me to be patient, open minded, and creative. I love that way it makes me feel whether Im close or far.
When Im vacationing in Marco Island, Ill revisit my desire to move to Florida. Asking myself, Tampa, West Palm or Fort Lauderdale
Mother Nature has bestowed upon this great city of Cleveland some interesting weather the past few weeks. We started with temps in the 20's -30's, dipped to 5 - 10, then fell below zero as winds from the north dropped the temp with wind chills into the negative teens, then back up to 50 and here this morning we settled into
30's. Lovely.
Outside of the minor annoyance that getting dressed in the morning requires the routine of watching the morning weather report, there too is the annoyance of the ailments that come along with quickly changing temps. When I parked in a garage at work that was adjacent to my building, I did not require myself to watch the weather. I could wear whatever and quickly rush into the building with a light sweater and not feel the winter effects. Now that my office has moved and the parking garage is several blocks away and a 15 minute walk through downtown, I must be more meticulous in my morning routine. Do I wear my feather down water resistant coat, or a long wool one? Do I need dorn the cap and gloves, or can I sneak by with just a scarf?
I felt the cold begin to settle into my chest on Wednesday. "Good thing I got that flu shot" I thought to myself. I quickly incorporated a zinc mineral supplement to try to chase it away. I should have been mindful enough to also steer clear of the germ cesspool at my gym, but I just love the way my body feels after 45 minutes on the stair master. Vitamin C and fever reducer completed my morning cold cocktail. Then one at noon and one just before bed. The little bugger came on strong yesterday afternoon at work, and today, its full blown. I lounge here in my bed, equipped with my laptop, my house phone, my warm cuddly cat, sore throat lozenges, liquids, and the makings of my cold cocktail standing at attention on my nightstand ready for duty, and contemplate my scheduled 4am flight tomorrow to visit my favorite destination, Marco Island.
All the books in my office have been read. Santa didnt bring my any new ones this year. So today I will scour the Internet for interesting material that can captivate the audience of one.
For this...this very scenario...challenges me to be mindful of my choice to return home to Cleveland after living in weather bliss is Miami. I can expect my mother to come over this morning. She will care for me like when I was a child. She will make a fuss by looking at each bottle and assessing my standards for personal care of this cold. She will critique as if Ive got it all wrong, but add only a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup. She will act as if she realiged my entire routine, and I will allow her to know that the only thing that will have made me feel better today was her taking care of me. This is an experience that is hard to surrender. This simple act of kindness and love reminds me of why Im here. My niece too will be over later today, checking in on her Auntie. Her four year old proper insisting she will feed my kitty for me, and then ask where I have hidden the cookie jar. My goodness her sweet tooth! My nephew, his two year old proper will adorn me by blowing me a kiss, a good and snotty kiss, most likely the origination of my cold. My older brother will force me to get out of bed to "fight if off". I can always count on him to challenge me. My younger brother will phone from Chicago, most likely thinking Im near my death as that is how my mother will portray it..."man that sucks" is what he will say. And my response will be, "not as bad and working in that f'ing lab 15 hours a day...but oh right, youll have a PHD. Did I tell you how amazing that is." He'll laugh with embarrassement and pride. Ill think to myself, he got the brains and the looks! His heart is so kind.
Today will be a good day. I will be reminded of this amazing family I have in my life, and tomorrow jet set, cold and all to South Florida and revisit Audrey's passions. The best things in my life experiences within two days.
There is a third experience that Id like to supplement, but time will have to tell the fate of that desire. It requires me to be patient, open minded, and creative. I love that way it makes me feel whether Im close or far.
When Im vacationing in Marco Island, Ill revisit my desire to move to Florida. Asking myself, Tampa, West Palm or Fort Lauderdale
Thursday, December 4
Bad Date #3 Excuse Me Occifer
Websters Dictionary defines the police as:
1: archaic: GOVERN
2: to control, regulate, or keep in order by use of police
3: to make clean and put in order
4 a: to supervise the operation, execution, or administration of to prevent or detect and prosecute violations of rules and regulations b: to exercise such supervision over the policies and activities of
5: to perform the functions of a police force in or over
Bad Date #3 A COP
Now we all know that there is such thing as a “Good Cop” and a “Bad Cop”. I share this story with you with much emotional vested interest as my father has been in the law enforcement industry for over 30 years.
“Bad Cops” take advantage of their power and abuse it.
“Good Cops” see their role as an opportunity to contribute to the great good of a society.
The role of a police office is to “Serve and Protect” and what better way than to take an unfortunate situation, and give someone an opportunity and challenge them to improve themselves. Its a psychological approach to get through to someone who has given up on themselves and it requires time and patience. Innately, no one is evil. Going through life with the ability to not become jaded by ones experiences is hard enough. Imagine if you were exposed to that daily.
I never really understood my father’s stern demeanor or constant persistance in challenging me to shoot for the stars. As I grew up, I learned that was because he only wanted what was best for me. The thought of me becoming what he saw daily was enough motivation to push push push me to be my ultimate self.
My dad is a “Good Cop”…no, a “Great Cop”. He has shared with me stories about indivuals that he has helped along the way.
There is one story in particular about a adolescent boy who became heavily involved in drugs. My dad and the boy’s father worked in collaboration to help him. He called my father two weeks ago to share with him that he had completed college and was starting a career.
Bad Date #3 was a lunch date with a “Bad Cop”. I was young, this date was 10 plus years ago (my gosh I hate to admit that), but it resonates in my life experiences because it helped me to better understand my father. The particulars of the date are not worth sharing in detail, because it is not funny nor something to be rehashed. I find it scary that those who have the power to make a positive impact choose to abuse it. My dates psychological approach to getting to know someone was controlling (surprise surprise) and his understanding of a womans role in a relationship was comparable to the driving leader of the Holocaust’s opinion of his opponenets (I dare not type or say his name). There is no life form, culture, religion, gender, etc. that is not to be considered equal.
He wowed me with a lunch date and suggested the minestrone soup because…ya know…as women age its hard to keep their figure.
Add to that he likes back massages and meals cooked by 6pm.
I am a fan of Russian Vodka, but not Russian brides. I do hope that when Bad Date #3 realizes that his only route of finding a woman who will serve him like that without providing anything in return is through a bride service…And I hope that when that woman is caught, she meets a “Great Cop” who can help her find her way.
1: archaic: GOVERN
2: to control, regulate, or keep in order by use of police
3: to make clean and put in order
4 a: to supervise the operation, execution, or administration of to prevent or detect and prosecute violations of rules and regulations b: to exercise such supervision over the policies and activities of
5: to perform the functions of a police force in or over
Bad Date #3 A COP
Now we all know that there is such thing as a “Good Cop” and a “Bad Cop”. I share this story with you with much emotional vested interest as my father has been in the law enforcement industry for over 30 years.
“Bad Cops” take advantage of their power and abuse it.
“Good Cops” see their role as an opportunity to contribute to the great good of a society.
The role of a police office is to “Serve and Protect” and what better way than to take an unfortunate situation, and give someone an opportunity and challenge them to improve themselves. Its a psychological approach to get through to someone who has given up on themselves and it requires time and patience. Innately, no one is evil. Going through life with the ability to not become jaded by ones experiences is hard enough. Imagine if you were exposed to that daily.
I never really understood my father’s stern demeanor or constant persistance in challenging me to shoot for the stars. As I grew up, I learned that was because he only wanted what was best for me. The thought of me becoming what he saw daily was enough motivation to push push push me to be my ultimate self.
My dad is a “Good Cop”…no, a “Great Cop”. He has shared with me stories about indivuals that he has helped along the way.
There is one story in particular about a adolescent boy who became heavily involved in drugs. My dad and the boy’s father worked in collaboration to help him. He called my father two weeks ago to share with him that he had completed college and was starting a career.
Bad Date #3 was a lunch date with a “Bad Cop”. I was young, this date was 10 plus years ago (my gosh I hate to admit that), but it resonates in my life experiences because it helped me to better understand my father. The particulars of the date are not worth sharing in detail, because it is not funny nor something to be rehashed. I find it scary that those who have the power to make a positive impact choose to abuse it. My dates psychological approach to getting to know someone was controlling (surprise surprise) and his understanding of a womans role in a relationship was comparable to the driving leader of the Holocaust’s opinion of his opponenets (I dare not type or say his name). There is no life form, culture, religion, gender, etc. that is not to be considered equal.
He wowed me with a lunch date and suggested the minestrone soup because…ya know…as women age its hard to keep their figure.
Add to that he likes back massages and meals cooked by 6pm.
I am a fan of Russian Vodka, but not Russian brides. I do hope that when Bad Date #3 realizes that his only route of finding a woman who will serve him like that without providing anything in return is through a bride service…And I hope that when that woman is caught, she meets a “Great Cop” who can help her find her way.
Wednesday, December 3
SHE’S BACK – THAT BAD ASS VICKIE
Today we step away, momentarily, from the week of Bad Date blogging to celebrate the lingerie industry.
Tune into CBS this evening at 10pm to watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Us divas know that, even in these hard economic times, a silk thong and black lace bra will never be replaced with grandma panties and a sports bra.
How fitting (pun intended) to celebrate the beautiful goddesses that grace this planet by putting them in the sexiest lingerie known…and letting them parade up and down a catwalk.
These woman have looks, bodies, and brains, and have marketed their beauty into sensational careers. Their presentation is intoxicating and personifies the power a woman posseses when she is physically at her best. This will drive a woman emotionally, mentally and intellectually.
Filet mignon…who needs ‘em?
Sitting on the couch all night and watching tv…not for me!
Getting lazy and not shaving where no one can see…hell no!
Executive Moms or Stay At Home Moms who think this is degrading to women…get real! If you’d lose the 10 pounds you’ve been bitching about for the last 2 years, you’d be happier and probably get laid a whole hell of a lot more. And when did being top dog at your company and being able to throw the best 1st birthday party ever become more important than being a woman?
Marisa, Alessandra, Karolina and Heidi you rock! Thank you for setting the bar so high. You inspire me daily to go to the gym, drink green tea instead of coffee, and slather oil on my skin every morning.
I’ll be toasting my glass of Red Zinfandel to you this evening. I’ll probably have the “7 Deadly Zins” and committ a few sins of my own!
Tune into CBS this evening at 10pm to watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Us divas know that, even in these hard economic times, a silk thong and black lace bra will never be replaced with grandma panties and a sports bra.
How fitting (pun intended) to celebrate the beautiful goddesses that grace this planet by putting them in the sexiest lingerie known…and letting them parade up and down a catwalk.
These woman have looks, bodies, and brains, and have marketed their beauty into sensational careers. Their presentation is intoxicating and personifies the power a woman posseses when she is physically at her best. This will drive a woman emotionally, mentally and intellectually.
Filet mignon…who needs ‘em?
Sitting on the couch all night and watching tv…not for me!
Getting lazy and not shaving where no one can see…hell no!
Executive Moms or Stay At Home Moms who think this is degrading to women…get real! If you’d lose the 10 pounds you’ve been bitching about for the last 2 years, you’d be happier and probably get laid a whole hell of a lot more. And when did being top dog at your company and being able to throw the best 1st birthday party ever become more important than being a woman?
Marisa, Alessandra, Karolina and Heidi you rock! Thank you for setting the bar so high. You inspire me daily to go to the gym, drink green tea instead of coffee, and slather oil on my skin every morning.
I’ll be toasting my glass of Red Zinfandel to you this evening. I’ll probably have the “7 Deadly Zins” and committ a few sins of my own!
Tuesday, December 2
Bad Date #2 What Is A Deuce?
Websters Dictionary defines a Deuce as:
1 a (1): the face of a die that bears two spots
(2): a playing card bearing an index number two b: a throw of the dice yielding two points2: a tie in tennis after each side has scored 40 requiring two consecutive points by one side to win
(3) [obsolete English deuce bad luck] a: devil , dickens —used chiefly as a mild oath b: something notable of its kind
What transpired in 2008 during a fall day was more of a quandry...not a deuce. Although a deuce was involved, it was not used in its literal sense...or any webster sense.
BAD DATE #2 DEUCE BIGALOW
I should have been tipped off that a blind date was not the key to finding true love, after Bad Date #1. You know the old saying about first time shame on you, second time shame on me. Perhaps it is my hope that true love does exist, or perhaps my confidence in humanity that a second try couldnt hurt...but rather, Bad Date #2 led me to the realization that blind dates are intended for the blind...and are not a deuce (being used as websters definition "something notable of its kind").
A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend said there was this guy I just HAD to meet. Liz, the mother of three beautiful boys and a woman with an amazing husband,spoke of this guy she worked with. She was fair. Told me she didnt know that much about him, but he was smart, handsome, personable so how bad could it be. I shared my story about Bad Date #1, sharing how that blind date didnt go so well, but, we both agreed it would be worth a shot....maybe it could even be a deuce.
Fastforward to the evening of the first date. I again, arrange to meet my blind date at my specific location feeling safe with the protection of my bartender friend. I arrive 15 minutes early this time. Thinking to myself...I can always disguise who I am an not admit Im me. Not that I would really do that, you know, pretend Im not me if I am meeting someone. But the thought that I could if I was desperate was comforting.
I dressed casually. Dark jeans, black top, black heels, simple pearls. Decided to wear my hair up so I looked cute...and not sultry. Took it easy on the makeup and gloss, spritzed on some herbal spray and headed out the door.
Although I was very much looking forward to my date, I was even more looking forward to a new plate I read a review about. They were pairing a tilapia with an almond coating and pan searing it! Yum! I think I was more excited to try that fish than I was about my date.
I arrived at the restaurant, took a seat at the bar, caught up with my bartender friend, ordered a glass of noir.
Enter through the door, my date.
A handsome man, tall, well built, nice smile...cut off khaki shorts, black socks and tevos. A real "Sex in the City" fashion moment for this guy. I chuckled inside...and thought to myself..."A pair of nice jeans and a button down wouldn't have killed you would it"? But being that I grew up with two brothers, I did not shame him for his lackluster appearance. I kept an open mind.
We had a drink, were seated, ordered our meal and started casual conversation. He was nice enough, kind in talking about people. Not very worldly though. He ordered a beer and then quickly ordered another and then another and then another. He was 6 beers in before the entrees arrived. He munched on his bread as if it was his last meal before being sentenced to death. As the beer went down, his confidence grew, and his true character was shown.
Now, please understand before I begin to give you the particulars, that its not that I am judging these people for their life decisions or mistakes...mind you, I have made several bad decisions myself and would never judge.
My beef is...when did it become okay to divulge so much in such a short period of time. I mean, isn't the fun of dating slowly getting to know someone? To develop their trust and confidence and then share? Why so much in such a little period of time? Can you really get to know someone when they fastforward through their entire lives? I mean...20 or 30 years into your life, youve got a lot of shit to share! And quite frankly, I dont want to hear all it until we've decided to get to know each other a little better. First dates are reserved for showing someone you are socially aware and capable.
Anyways...I digress.
After 6 beers he began to feel all warm and fuzzy and I learned about his previous marriage, which oh by the way feel apart because he did not manage his money well, and his dog which Im pretty sure he is in love with. I thought to myself...perhaps that half a million dollar house, Porsche, boat and four wheeler you were bragging about were not a good idea...and oh also, by the way....I am not cool with letting your dog hump your leg because he needs a little lovins too.
What? I find myself asking that a lot. What?
It went on and on and on and I can only wonder why we was so oblivious not to pick up on the look of horror that I had on my face. Yeah...he's definitely receptive and will pick up on my needs.
After I said a few million..."uh huh's"..."oh my's"...and "are you serious's"...dinner arrived.
Alas, my great escape of tilapia rolled in almonds has arrived. Ill just tune him out , eat up, enjoy and get the hell out of here.
Just as the entrees arrived...my date sat back, made a loud grunting noise, and put his hand on his belly. I dropped my fork and knive, raised my eyebrows and began to get up and said, "Are you alright?". He was so dramatic I really thought I was going to have a bad situation on my hands.
His response..."I've got to go drop a deuce!".
What?
Webster failed to mention a "deuce", could mean shit. As in..."Dropping a deuce" meaning "Taking a shit". And here all along I thought that "Dropping the kids off at the swimming pool" was the politically correct way of expressing that urge.
I never did get to try that tilapia....
1 a (1): the face of a die that bears two spots
(2): a playing card bearing an index number two b: a throw of the dice yielding two points2: a tie in tennis after each side has scored 40 requiring two consecutive points by one side to win
(3) [obsolete English deuce bad luck] a: devil , dickens —used chiefly as a mild oath
What transpired in 2008 during a fall day was more of a quandry...not a deuce. Although a deuce was involved, it was not used in its literal sense...or any webster sense.
BAD DATE #2 DEUCE BIGALOW
I should have been tipped off that a blind date was not the key to finding true love, after Bad Date #1. You know the old saying about first time shame on you, second time shame on me. Perhaps it is my hope that true love does exist, or perhaps my confidence in humanity that a second try couldnt hurt...but rather, Bad Date #2 led me to the realization that blind dates are intended for the blind...and are not a deuce (being used as websters definition "something notable of its kind").
A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend said there was this guy I just HAD to meet. Liz, the mother of three beautiful boys and a woman with an amazing husband,spoke of this guy she worked with. She was fair. Told me she didnt know that much about him, but he was smart, handsome, personable so how bad could it be. I shared my story about Bad Date #1, sharing how that blind date didnt go so well, but, we both agreed it would be worth a shot....maybe it could even be a deuce.
Fastforward to the evening of the first date. I again, arrange to meet my blind date at my specific location feeling safe with the protection of my bartender friend. I arrive 15 minutes early this time. Thinking to myself...I can always disguise who I am an not admit Im me. Not that I would really do that, you know, pretend Im not me if I am meeting someone. But the thought that I could if I was desperate was comforting.
I dressed casually. Dark jeans, black top, black heels, simple pearls. Decided to wear my hair up so I looked cute...and not sultry. Took it easy on the makeup and gloss, spritzed on some herbal spray and headed out the door.
Although I was very much looking forward to my date, I was even more looking forward to a new plate I read a review about. They were pairing a tilapia with an almond coating and pan searing it! Yum! I think I was more excited to try that fish than I was about my date.
I arrived at the restaurant, took a seat at the bar, caught up with my bartender friend, ordered a glass of noir.
Enter through the door, my date.
A handsome man, tall, well built, nice smile...cut off khaki shorts, black socks and tevos. A real "Sex in the City" fashion moment for this guy. I chuckled inside...and thought to myself..."A pair of nice jeans and a button down wouldn't have killed you would it"? But being that I grew up with two brothers, I did not shame him for his lackluster appearance. I kept an open mind.
We had a drink, were seated, ordered our meal and started casual conversation. He was nice enough, kind in talking about people. Not very worldly though. He ordered a beer and then quickly ordered another and then another and then another. He was 6 beers in before the entrees arrived. He munched on his bread as if it was his last meal before being sentenced to death. As the beer went down, his confidence grew, and his true character was shown.
Now, please understand before I begin to give you the particulars, that its not that I am judging these people for their life decisions or mistakes...mind you, I have made several bad decisions myself and would never judge.
My beef is...when did it become okay to divulge so much in such a short period of time. I mean, isn't the fun of dating slowly getting to know someone? To develop their trust and confidence and then share? Why so much in such a little period of time? Can you really get to know someone when they fastforward through their entire lives? I mean...20 or 30 years into your life, youve got a lot of shit to share! And quite frankly, I dont want to hear all it until we've decided to get to know each other a little better. First dates are reserved for showing someone you are socially aware and capable.
Anyways...I digress.
After 6 beers he began to feel all warm and fuzzy and I learned about his previous marriage, which oh by the way feel apart because he did not manage his money well, and his dog which Im pretty sure he is in love with. I thought to myself...perhaps that half a million dollar house, Porsche, boat and four wheeler you were bragging about were not a good idea...and oh also, by the way....I am not cool with letting your dog hump your leg because he needs a little lovins too.
What? I find myself asking that a lot. What?
It went on and on and on and I can only wonder why we was so oblivious not to pick up on the look of horror that I had on my face. Yeah...he's definitely receptive and will pick up on my needs.
After I said a few million..."uh huh's"..."oh my's"...and "are you serious's"...dinner arrived.
Alas, my great escape of tilapia rolled in almonds has arrived. Ill just tune him out , eat up, enjoy and get the hell out of here.
Just as the entrees arrived...my date sat back, made a loud grunting noise, and put his hand on his belly. I dropped my fork and knive, raised my eyebrows and began to get up and said, "Are you alright?". He was so dramatic I really thought I was going to have a bad situation on my hands.
His response..."I've got to go drop a deuce!".
What?
Webster failed to mention a "deuce", could mean shit. As in..."Dropping a deuce" meaning "Taking a shit". And here all along I thought that "Dropping the kids off at the swimming pool" was the politically correct way of expressing that urge.
I never did get to try that tilapia....
Sunday, November 30
Bad Date #1 - Nothing Is As Important as a Symmetrical Face
Websters Dictionary defines Symmetry as:
1: balanced proportions ; also : beauty of form arising from balanced proportions
When you studied geometry in high school, you probably first heard this word. The word lends, in my opinion, to a mathematical origin. How this word became an active word in the dating scene, Ill never know. But I will tell you who knows...
Bad Date #1 THE POLITICIAN WANNABE
It was March 2006. I was fully committed to the reality that I would be purchasing a home.
My real estate agent connected me with a lender. I did my homework, reputable company and he was well versed in the biz. He and I worked out the mortgage details and through the several conversations we had Ill admit there was a little spark...some witty banter. Enough to get my attention.
After the business deal was done, he asked me out. I was a bit surprised that he did not preface the invite, with something like...now I know I probably shouldn't, or...please dont think this is weird...or something along the lines of suggesting he wouldnt want to take advantage of our "chance" meeting through a business transaction, but I thought Id give him the benefit of the doubt.
Fast forward to the evening of the first date. The evening of the date, I was feeling good. He and I were planning on meeting for some appetizers and a drink and at local small venue. A place I secure as my "first date" location because its my neighborhood place and the bartender will pretend like he doesn't know me...and watch out for me! Yes girls, you know what Im talking about.
So, I walk into the restaurant and I see a guy sitting at the bar by himself, his back to me, I quickly start to size him up and think...oh shit...and then he turns. My bartender friend makes eye contact with me as the guy turns to me and I can tell by the horror on his face that this is not going to be good. He steps up from the bar chair and yells "Oh my God, you are absolutely gorgeous". What, I don't even know you?
Mind you this is a small quaint place. Quiet. He grabs my hands and continues to size me up and down, making sure to stop just about tit height and taking a few extra seconds to get a good look. What...creep?
My hands went limp in his and I was like..."Oh, well gosh thanks. I dont think the people on the other side of the restaurant heard you." He totally missed the joke and that fact that he completely embarrassed me (mental note, he doesnt listen) and then he proceeds to say...
"Your face is so symmetrical". What?
The events following that statement included conversation about his ex wife, his most recent girlfriend and his amazing career that has allowed him to make tons of money. What...this is a first date right? Then it really took a bad turn, he was talking about how difficult his divorce was and began to cry at the bar.
Top the evening off with him walking me out of the restaurant to my car, and telling me he is using his body to shield me from reporters that he suspects are following him because he is looking to become a politician. What?
How it ended...I thanked him for his time. Told him I appreciated his help with my mortgage, but told him our professional relationship was the extent I was willing to go.
His response..."No please dont tell me that. Ive had a great time tonight...and your face, its just so symmetrical".
What? What does that even mean?
1: balanced proportions ; also : beauty of form arising from balanced proportions
When you studied geometry in high school, you probably first heard this word. The word lends, in my opinion, to a mathematical origin. How this word became an active word in the dating scene, Ill never know. But I will tell you who knows...
Bad Date #1 THE POLITICIAN WANNABE
It was March 2006. I was fully committed to the reality that I would be purchasing a home.
My real estate agent connected me with a lender. I did my homework, reputable company and he was well versed in the biz. He and I worked out the mortgage details and through the several conversations we had Ill admit there was a little spark...some witty banter. Enough to get my attention.
After the business deal was done, he asked me out. I was a bit surprised that he did not preface the invite, with something like...now I know I probably shouldn't, or...please dont think this is weird...or something along the lines of suggesting he wouldnt want to take advantage of our "chance" meeting through a business transaction, but I thought Id give him the benefit of the doubt.
Fast forward to the evening of the first date. The evening of the date, I was feeling good. He and I were planning on meeting for some appetizers and a drink and at local small venue. A place I secure as my "first date" location because its my neighborhood place and the bartender will pretend like he doesn't know me...and watch out for me! Yes girls, you know what Im talking about.
So, I walk into the restaurant and I see a guy sitting at the bar by himself, his back to me, I quickly start to size him up and think...oh shit...and then he turns. My bartender friend makes eye contact with me as the guy turns to me and I can tell by the horror on his face that this is not going to be good. He steps up from the bar chair and yells "Oh my God, you are absolutely gorgeous". What, I don't even know you?
Mind you this is a small quaint place. Quiet. He grabs my hands and continues to size me up and down, making sure to stop just about tit height and taking a few extra seconds to get a good look. What...creep?
My hands went limp in his and I was like..."Oh, well gosh thanks. I dont think the people on the other side of the restaurant heard you." He totally missed the joke and that fact that he completely embarrassed me (mental note, he doesnt listen) and then he proceeds to say...
"Your face is so symmetrical". What?
The events following that statement included conversation about his ex wife, his most recent girlfriend and his amazing career that has allowed him to make tons of money. What...this is a first date right? Then it really took a bad turn, he was talking about how difficult his divorce was and began to cry at the bar.
Top the evening off with him walking me out of the restaurant to my car, and telling me he is using his body to shield me from reporters that he suspects are following him because he is looking to become a politician. What?
How it ended...I thanked him for his time. Told him I appreciated his help with my mortgage, but told him our professional relationship was the extent I was willing to go.
His response..."No please dont tell me that. Ive had a great time tonight...and your face, its just so symmetrical".
What? What does that even mean?
A Week Of Bad Dates
As the dawn breaks on a new day and a new week, I find inspiration for my new blog this week in humor.
Each day this week, I will post a blog entry detailing the events of 5...yes count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 bad dates (suddenly Im thinking of Sesame Street and the Count).
The names and places of these events will be changed to protect the idiotic.
I share these stories with you as a tribute to single women who, like me, continue to "put themselves out there", amidst the moronic, egotistical, oblivious and tasteless men who have the audacity to date when they have failed to mature beyond their adolescent years.
To my guy friends who do have something to offer including RB, JS, DC, JC, JB and BG you can vowge for me. I certainly do not want to get a reputation for being a man hater!
Come on ladies, tell me about your bad date.
Each day this week, I will post a blog entry detailing the events of 5...yes count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 bad dates (suddenly Im thinking of Sesame Street and the Count).
The names and places of these events will be changed to protect the idiotic.
I share these stories with you as a tribute to single women who, like me, continue to "put themselves out there", amidst the moronic, egotistical, oblivious and tasteless men who have the audacity to date when they have failed to mature beyond their adolescent years.
To my guy friends who do have something to offer including RB, JS, DC, JC, JB and BG you can vowge for me. I certainly do not want to get a reputation for being a man hater!
Come on ladies, tell me about your bad date.
Creating My Personal Space
I bought a home a year and a half ago. What a liberating experience for a single woman. I promised myself that no matter what life served me, I would find a place to call "home" by the time I was thirty. My twenties served me my fair share of bullshit, and at 29 I realized it was time to come home to Cleveland and make good on my personal promise. So it begun, the search for a canvas that I could paint and call home.
My home is small, three bedroom / two bath...no basement. Its a ranch with vaulted ceilings and an open floor plan. Luckily I am situated on a horseshoe street, and I pride myself on the fact that for a mere $100 a month, I do not have to mow, mulch, shovel, plow, water...I dont have to do anything to the landspace. I often wonder how soon it will be that Ill be looking for acreage.
I lived in my home for several months just taking it in. I slept on a mattress that was placed on the floor and took very little furniture or belongings from my past. Id like to try to be elegant and say I feng shui'd...but it was more like a complete overhaul. When I opened that storage unit that I crammed every personal belonging of mine that I couldn't fit into my one of eleven different living spaces through my twenties, I sighed out loud. How overwhelming. My entire past was staring at me. No way...so I loaded a truck and threw all the shit away.
After several months of appreciating my new "minimalist" approach, I started to find my inspiration for the place. I chose to take natural landspaces and incorporate them into the different rooms. I wanted my home to be a subtle representation of traveling through different landspaces.
The dining area, the family room and the kitchen are all open and accessible to each other. They are positioned in a triangle in relationship to each other...much like the ideal kitchen floor plan for appliances.
My home is decorated and furnished in neutral tones. I started with creams, beiges, light greens and have slowly incorporated blues...and will eventually incorporate yellow and terra cotta.
I think of my home as a journey through landspaces.
The family area is "beachy".
The dining area represents the sea.
My bedroom represents a mountain retreat.
The kitchen represents the desert.
Welcome to my blog, Simple Sophistication.
I introduce you to my blog by telling you of my journey in developing my personal space, as a representation of my committment to myself at 30 years old that I was going to take a simple approach to my life decisions...a reason well substantiated after endless bad decisions.
My home is small, three bedroom / two bath...no basement. Its a ranch with vaulted ceilings and an open floor plan. Luckily I am situated on a horseshoe street, and I pride myself on the fact that for a mere $100 a month, I do not have to mow, mulch, shovel, plow, water...I dont have to do anything to the landspace. I often wonder how soon it will be that Ill be looking for acreage.
I lived in my home for several months just taking it in. I slept on a mattress that was placed on the floor and took very little furniture or belongings from my past. Id like to try to be elegant and say I feng shui'd...but it was more like a complete overhaul. When I opened that storage unit that I crammed every personal belonging of mine that I couldn't fit into my one of eleven different living spaces through my twenties, I sighed out loud. How overwhelming. My entire past was staring at me. No way...so I loaded a truck and threw all the shit away.
After several months of appreciating my new "minimalist" approach, I started to find my inspiration for the place. I chose to take natural landspaces and incorporate them into the different rooms. I wanted my home to be a subtle representation of traveling through different landspaces.
The dining area, the family room and the kitchen are all open and accessible to each other. They are positioned in a triangle in relationship to each other...much like the ideal kitchen floor plan for appliances.
My home is decorated and furnished in neutral tones. I started with creams, beiges, light greens and have slowly incorporated blues...and will eventually incorporate yellow and terra cotta.
I think of my home as a journey through landspaces.
The family area is "beachy".
The dining area represents the sea.
My bedroom represents a mountain retreat.
The kitchen represents the desert.
Welcome to my blog, Simple Sophistication.
I introduce you to my blog by telling you of my journey in developing my personal space, as a representation of my committment to myself at 30 years old that I was going to take a simple approach to my life decisions...a reason well substantiated after endless bad decisions.
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