To Audrey Jean

I remember my grandmother fondly, even though I lost her when I was young. The mother to my father, she was a lady of simple needs, great persuasion in the most subtle way, modest and giving – to those in need and to her family.

She was short, light skin and blond, my build, complexion and hair color most definitely from her genes. Ovarian cancer was her fate.

I remember her teaching me how to care for myself. How to bathe, how to dress, how to sit like a lady. She used to make me oatmeal for breakfast. The place sitting complete with the bowl, a spoon, a vitamin, a glass of orange juice and two small creamer holders…one with milk and one with brown sugar. The delicious and appropriate toppings for steel cut oatmeal.

She always drove what I called a fancy car. A Cadillac, a Lincoln. The typical car for a sixty something grandmother who was fit, good looking and active in the community. Her car always smelled new. She used to say,

“There will be two things in life you will always have to pay for. A house and a car. And you should get a new car every two years before you have to start fixing things on it.”

She worked as a bookkeeper for local businesses and kept my grandfather and her financials in line. She was loved by her sons, cherished by her husband and respected by those whose lives she touched.

She died during the winter months. When this time of year comes by, I feel the overwhelming loss of her. Winter months are a strain on my parents, my father in particular, for it is these months that remind him of her slow death. Endless trips to the hospital and her pain.

I’ll stop by to visit her grave, drive past the house she once lived in on Hillard Blvd, and remembering how she would tuck me in at night when I’d sleep over. Ill stop by the perfume counter at the mall, and purchase Oscar De La Renta, the scent she always wore.

I miss you grandma. For it is now that I miss, not just your warm oatmeal, but your good advice. There are times when I feel lost and unfound.

Saints of God come to her soul
Come to meet her angels of the Lord
Receive her soul and present her to God the Most High
Now that she has passed from this life
May she live on in your presence

All my love goes to you today Audrey Jean.