Well its official. I am back at the gym and working out regularly. I have finally concluded after 32 years that the ONLY way to sustain the physique that I desire it to combine cardio with resistance training. My employer offers a free gym membership as part of their Wellness program, so I booted the high priced gym I was attending, and swapped it for a gym just a few blocks from my office building. I have committed myself to at least 10 days of resistance training a month. Cardio as often as possible, at least 5 days a week is a given without objection.
My first night at the gym, I was mesmerized by this female, about my age, who is in unbelievable shape. She is lean and cut, but not so much that she looks unfeminine. I tend to desire the lean look, not very sculpted, but this woman was a bit of a source of inspiration. She proved that a woman can be sculpted and still look extremely sexy and not bulky. Her posture was impeccable and she had not an ounce of fat on her body.
I approached her like the dork that I am and commended her on her discipline. It was risky because I was not sure how she would respond, but it was certain she appreciated the comment. We got to talking. Five minutes turned into fifteen minutes as she shared with me her workout routine. The girl rocked it out on the StairMaster like I have never seen. Although I would guess my good friend Snow White could give her a run for her money! But few could…
My big brother is a total doll and is landscaping my backyard. I have a small backyard that backs up to a MetroParks protected wooded lot. A lot of the brush was overgrown and coming into my backyard, taking up the little space that I have. My brother took down the brush (not the trees, I wouldn’t let him!) and filled in the area with topsoil and this weekend we will be planting grass seed and laying hay. He’s also started on a few other projects in the house. This weekend I think I’ll talk to him about the possibility of adding shelving and a shoe rack to my closet. He often cleans my garage, takes out the garbage, and picks things up that he sees the house needs. I just love having him around…aside, of course, from the occasional bitchfest about how I live. Point in case, the way I feed my cat.
My cat Emily is larger than a small dog. It is no mystery that I feed my cat that way I wish I could eat. Endless treats, a full food bowl and splashes of milk anytime she lets out a cry are the norm. When I adopted Emily she was so little and so underweight (she was a stray cat living on the streets) that the way I showed her she could trust me was to feed her, endlessly. The end product is an obese cat, who is insanely happy and saunters with her fat ass all about the house, not taking any disliking to my brothers attempts to taunt her to keep her away from his living space.
My brother is creeped out by Emily. Ok, so maybe it is totally nasty that when I eat baked or grilled chicken I will cut little pieces for her and feed them to her at the table. And maybe it is totally and unbelievably disgusting that I will share my chocolate pudding with her, and my soft yogurt too! But, why is it more disgusting when it’s a cat? I mean, its really no different than if she were a dog (obvious sarcasm here).
Anyways, as my brother is settling into my home, I have noticed my once formal approach to living is becoming more of the “ordinary sort”. I guess that is my way of saying, I lived and lounged a certain way before my brother moved in, changed things as he first arrived to make him feel comfortable (as did he I am sure) and now am going back to my normal and typical habits (as is he such as leaving his dirty laundry ontop of the washing machine – an obvious but unspoken request to wash it!).
One of these bad habits of mine is to feed Emily tuna fish and splash the bowl with milk. It’s a disgusting combination but one which she likes. When I would do this in the past, I would rid of the evidence quickly after Emily ate knowing full well my brother would just stare in awe as the disgust of this practice. Not to mention it smells horrific! So this morning, in a rush to get out of the house (I spent extra time making my hair curly) I fed Emily and scooted out of the house forgetting to rinse the tuna fish and milk bowl.
The three o’clock hour comes upon. My office phone rings. The caller ID shows the familiar cell phone number of my brother. The conversation begins:
I say, “Yo, yo, yo wassup?”
My brother responds, “Are you shitting me?!!!!!!! Tuna fish and milk in the same bowl Angela!!!!!! I almost puked when I woke up and passed it and smelled it this morning.”
My response, “Did you get your clean laundry?”
It’s a lucky thing for him he takes out the trash. Maybe next week as a practical joke Ill put a small pile of Emily’s shit just atop the garbage can to mess with him.
Nothing better than humor to deal with a sometimes stressful situation!
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4 comments:
Working out from home takes a lot of discipline. I just have a treadmill and a Thigh Master and I find myself sometimes making excuses of why I don’t feel like exercising. I wind up paying for it the next day by making up for the lost time.
Having a gym membership is good motivation for working out, you’re surrounded by beautiful and fit people and you want to look just like them.
Mother Goose I wasn’t always lean. I was for a number of years chubby. Mama fed me a lot Homogenized milk. It's loaded with fat. Later I discovered egg cremes. You should see some of my baby pictures. You can’t see my neck in most of them.
CP - Ode to the home gym equipment. Although it can be tough sometimes, it does offer convenience.
What are egg cremes?
Hi Audrey,
An Egg Creme is a delicious drink made with milk, seltzer, and chocolate syrup.
CP is right. It's tough to work out at home. I don't like going to the gym, because of the whole meat-market atmosphere at the one by my house. So to compromise, I run outside as often as possible. So it's not in my house or at the gym. And I'm weird about it - I run at 10 or 11 at night. I live in a safe neighborhood and frankly, that's the only time I have open with a full-time job, family and 4-year-old!
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