A Birthday Weekend of Filled Wishes

Sunday was my birthday. Thirty two years old and I have never felt better about myself. The weekend was absolutely fabulous. It was relaxing, not too hectic and full of love and fun festivities.

Rather than hit any local restaurants or bars, I decided to stay close to home and celebrate my individuality and life accomplishments. A sort of self reflective weekend looking back upon my past and relishing in the best and worst of times.

I splurged and overspent on Saturday and it felt good! It bewilders me the sense of satisfaction I get when I use my hard earned money to purchase finer things that I enjoy.

I bought pillows for my bedroom, including two Euro shams and two down feather pillows, and I also bought these amazing Marc Jacobs Euro pillow shams in the most unique iridescent green/brown color with gorgeous piping.

I have been wanting to buy a cotton metalasse for several years now but was having a hard time finding a color and stitching that was more modern. Most of the metalasse are a traditional off white with a flower pattern. This weekend I found a stark white one with box stitching that had the traditional metalasse cotton feel but a modern look. This fit nicely between my flat sheet and my down comforter giving the covers a weight that snuggles the body.

I also purchased two pairs of shoes. For some reason I was drawn to the wedge heels this weekend. I have never purchased a pair of wedge heels because I have never been too excited about the look…but they offer extra stability and height and are hardly seen when I wear them with my long dress pants. They are typically a rounder toe instead of a pointed toe which is nice when walking across campus for work. I decided my pointed toe shoes could be worn with my jeans when I go out, rather than work, and I could use the wedge heels, incognito, under my dress pants at work and provide extra support and comfort when walking during the day. Then I would still not lose the professional look of added height.

Then I went product crazy and bought an extraordinary amount of hand lotions, body lotions, body washes, bubble baths, oils, and scented candles.

My parents were generous in purchasing me an bedside table for my bedroom. Since my bed sits in a large bedframe I needed a large piece, the size of a coffee tables (at least 36’ wide which is hard to find in an end table) but also square so it did not look like I was using a coffee table for an end table. I found it at a furniture store after looking for months, so of course, after it was set up next to my bed, I had to dress it up with a crystal piece, lotions, candles, a small light and a small clock that goes “tick tock” at night and helps me sleep. The piece of furniture sits just below a framed christening gown that is perfectly pressed and centered onto a piece of pink felt fabric. The frame is gold and had mini shooting stars going across it. It was my grandmother Audrey’s christening gown and someday I hope to be able to take apart that frame and dress my child in the gown on his or her baptism day.

On Sunday, after a glorious early morning walk in the park, and a trip to the grocery store, I headed over to my parents house to meet my family and niece and nephew for a small birthday party cookout. We feasted on bbq ribs, chicken, potato salad, green beans, fresh fruit salad and pasta salad. It all paired nicely with a sweet raspberry Riesling my aunt had wanted to try. We laughed about how we shouldn’t have waited so long to try the new wine. Then onto birthday cake and a few gifts. We as a family have agreed that gifts would be of the personal affect and we would not go overboard.

My dad’s mother, who passed when I was a pre-teen due to ovarian cancer was a very special lady. She was the mother of two boys and was a woman who could “do it all” well before the times when a woman had many options. She was an accountant, a mother, a caretaker, a wife, a volunteer and active community and church member and more.

She had a gentleness and lady likeness about her that emulated. She was loved by many and liked by all. Her name was Audrey. My large forehead, wide nose, and light hair and skin coloring are just as hers. If you place a picture of her as a young girl next to a picture of me as a young girl, we look identical. It is seldom I can go to a family party and not be told how much I am like Audrey. Even to the detail of how I decorate. Low profile, large pieces, earth tones and lots of contrast. She too had a love for the finer things. Her guest bathroom was always decorated with shell soaps and beautiful hand stitched hand towels and her house had the familiar scent of home when you were welcomed at the door.

When my grandmother passed at a young age, the family was devastated. My rough and tough grandfather was offset by my grandmother’s gentleness. She reminded him often not to be too “gruff”. My father’s heart was broken. It was the first and last time I saw my father cry. My father who is the pillar of strength in my life. My grandfather almost immediately after my grandmother’s death took house with another lady, 20 years his younger. It is obvious now he was fearful to be alone, but that act hurt the family so and caused a lot of turmoil and anger.

Many years have passed. My grandfather ended up marrying that lady, divorcing her, and then re-marrying her again and to this day they are wed. His second wife was recently ill and was treated at the hospital that I work. She had a serious neurological issue and I spent several hours of each morning of the 10 days she was here, up in her room, at her bedside, trying to console her and provide my grandfather some relief as he waited for his ride to be by her bedside. My grandfather is 86 years old and I could see from the pain on his face that watching a second spouse pass would be difficult for him.

It has been about 6 weeks since his wife went home, and the prognosis for her is good, but I can see my grandfather’s health failing. It is as if that experience allowed him to give himself permission to let go to the after life, where he could meet and be with Audrey and avoid the pain of losing another wife. This observation along with his most recent chatter about Audrey including; requesting the meals and recipes she prepared for him be prepared, sharing with me the tiny little shovel Audrey used while gardening and talking about Audrey more…has led me to this conclusion. Its as if he is preparing to pass by re-experiencing Audrey as he prepares to meet her again.

As a birthday gift, my grandfather and his wife gave to me my grandmother Audrey’s cook book. It was a cook book her mother in law gave to her in 1942. It is called the “Women’s Home Companion Cook Book” and has several hand written notes placed in particular pages to note where she would adjust a recipe to her liking. Celery salt instead of celery. Add garlic powder. Make it a heaping teaspoon. The inside page of the front cover of the book has a handwritten note from her mother in law. Certain pages are splattered with the likings of sauces and oils, making it obvious her favorite recipes. The gift came with a note from my grandfather and his wife…acknowledging my life successes, my willingness to open up my home to my brother, my time commitment to his wife while she was in the hospital and more. I was so completely and totally overwhelmed I broke into tears.

There are few gifts you receive it life that touch your soul. This was one of those gifts. I brought the book home and immediately found the perfect place in the kitchen for it and have already begun to page through and take mental inventory of the things Ill need to gather at the grocery store to prepare her favorite meals. My plan is to prepare those meals and take them to my grandfather and his wife so that they together can celebrate their love and the future.

As a final note, it was at that moment that I browsed through the recipe book that I realized that the ribs that we ate that evening were prepared by using my grandmother’s recipe and homemade bbq sauce.

I love you Audrey. I love you Bob. I love you Jeanite. Thank you for making my thirty second birthday one I will never ever forgot.

Much love and blessings,
Angela