Who Needs A Boyfriend When You Have Sleeping Pills

Just recently I have been having trouble sleeping. This has never been a problem for me. I am not certain what is weighing on my subconscious that is causing this.

I have read a lot of material on how to calm the body and mind before sleep. And because of this, I have developed a routine before going to bed. I think of it as my special treat to myself after a hard days work and a good workout

It starts with dimming the lights in my home. Then I will run a hot bath, turn on lite music (usually something from the 50’s or 60’s which is why I need to find a record player and my favorite oldie hits on 45’s) and I light the bathroom with candles. I’ll add to the hot bath a few drops of a scented oil which aromatherapists suggest to soothe, relax and calm.
After soaking in the tub for 20 minutes, I will follow with my evening facial cleansing and repair routine. This routine has many layers of product to repair collagen, lighten age spots, repair sun damage and stop the aging. As each layer of gel, serum or cream is applied; each layer must dry completely before the next application. So in between application of these delicious layers, I will treat the body on my skin to lotion. Each limb, my breasts, my belly, my hips, my toushie.

Then I promptly boil water in the teapot to make calming tea, sipping slowly. No caffeine please as I do not want to defeat my intent.

Then I will adorn my temple with a heavenly frock, sometimes cotton, most times silk. In the summertime always linen.

Then I will take two sleeping pills, turn on the heating pad, turn off all the lights and music, blow out the candles, and lay in bed, being sure to strategically place the heating pad in a position on my pillow that allows my neck to be in proper alignment with my spine. I can feel the pressure from my neck and spine release.

Then the thoughts of the days past will run through my head, as well as what tomorrow has to bring. When I sense a bit of anxiety or urgency in something that I wish I would have handled better, I remind myself that what matters most; my relationships with my family and friends; is good. Then suddenly all seems right in the world and I can release.

I close my eyes and as the sleeping pills work their magic, I fall quickly into a deep sleep.

Just about the time I started taking these magical wonders, I’ve also begun to dream a lot. Dreams I can remember not only when I wake up, but also throughout the day. The dreams are sweet, tender, magical, sensual…and always involve a man from my past. However, the man is not how I remember him always. The dream is recurring, but the man is different each time. The dreams are about the man tending to my needs in the most sensitive and sweet manner, and I in return through his motivation. A touch on the face, a pinch of the cheek, a reminder of my beauty and innocence. He speaks to me almost in poetry form, self expressing our relationship past, present and our future friendship. I respond to him in similar poetic words, telling him what he has meant to me, and how he has shaped my development as a woman.
When I wake up, I feel refreshed and rejuvenated, and reminded that I am a product not only of my family and friends, but almost my lovers, my experiences, my good decisions and my bad decisions.

Truth be told, I think I would sleep best if I spend the evening with a man I loved and we made a mess of the sheets into the wee hours of the morning. What heating pad?